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plan_surviveI am mostly just checking before we get ourselves in a terrible pickle.
Here's the situation. V is not-quite-3. He's had lots of signs of readiness for a long time: he's been obsessed with hand hygiene for nearly a year. He has promptly told us that he's just done a poo for about six months. He has informed his daycare (although never us) that he no longer wears nappies. He loves his potty picture books. He's verbal enough to talk about the short-term past and future and to follow a short series of instructions (when in the mood of course). He loves routines and treats and all things older-toddlery.
My mother tried to get him to use a potty about five months ago, when she was caring for him for a fortnight. He promptly learned how to manipulate her with it ("I need to go potty!" gets an adult out of bed!) but did not start using it. So back to nappies then. We're only trying again now because, to be blunt, now is the first time in months that an adult in this household has not been preparing for or recovering from a hospitalisation. That's taken priority (and in some cases left us unable to lift him, which wasn't helpful).
His daycare is keen for him to use the toilet, because on his third birthday they can drop his carer ratio if he is using the toilet by then. Obviously if he's not ready he's not ready, but it would be nice because all his friends will move into the older classroom soon. They also just plain think that if a child is keen on undies, then It's Time.
He is quite happy sitting on the toilet, because he's allowed to play with a phone on there and watch his favourite videos (which are of him…). We have sticker rewards and he understands what they're for. He tries to go. He has some luck with poo.
The problem with urine seems to be this: he has really good strong bladder control and he doesn't know how to release it consciously. We actually see him trying to do it, physically. He's just moving the wrong muscles. So at least so far the strategy of popping him on the loo all the time and hoping to catch an involuntary release is not working: he just goes really seldom. There doesn't seem to be enough lucky catches to be able to do the "HOORAY YOU DID IT IN THE TOILET" reinforcement. So we're a bit stuck there at the moment. He sits on the toilet every half an hour. About twice a day he wees on the floor and we clean it up. He also is probably saving up wee for the nappies we put him in to leave the house. ??? PROFIT?
It's not ideal to do this in the holidays because he's out of routine and, eg, my mother-in-law insisted he wear nappies at her house until very good with the toilet, so we can't be consistent while traveling. On the other hand, not the holidays means I spend hot days locked in the house with him while my husband works in air-conditioned offices, which I am not that thrilled about. So holidays it is.
Any ideas about overcoming his lack of insight into the muscles? Or will the accidents do it shortly? How long, typically, before people decide "this isn't working" and go back to nappies?
Someone will probably ask about how the uncertainty of all the adult hospitalisations has affected him. We're not sure, to be honest: there's nothing obvious. Probably the biggest thing is that we're just thoroughly worn out and he's therefore used to having parents who don't have much patience.
Oh, final note: I'm in Australia, so it's the middle of summer. This is probably relevant to clothing-related thoughts.
Update: judging from comments so far, we probably need to keep doing what we're doing for a fortnight or so before deciding we need a new strategy? Seems fair enough. He's back in childcare Jan 9, it is shut down for a summer break for three weeks. Perhaps we'll be sorted by then.
Here's the situation. V is not-quite-3. He's had lots of signs of readiness for a long time: he's been obsessed with hand hygiene for nearly a year. He has promptly told us that he's just done a poo for about six months. He has informed his daycare (although never us) that he no longer wears nappies. He loves his potty picture books. He's verbal enough to talk about the short-term past and future and to follow a short series of instructions (when in the mood of course). He loves routines and treats and all things older-toddlery.
My mother tried to get him to use a potty about five months ago, when she was caring for him for a fortnight. He promptly learned how to manipulate her with it ("I need to go potty!" gets an adult out of bed!) but did not start using it. So back to nappies then. We're only trying again now because, to be blunt, now is the first time in months that an adult in this household has not been preparing for or recovering from a hospitalisation. That's taken priority (and in some cases left us unable to lift him, which wasn't helpful).
His daycare is keen for him to use the toilet, because on his third birthday they can drop his carer ratio if he is using the toilet by then. Obviously if he's not ready he's not ready, but it would be nice because all his friends will move into the older classroom soon. They also just plain think that if a child is keen on undies, then It's Time.
He is quite happy sitting on the toilet, because he's allowed to play with a phone on there and watch his favourite videos (which are of him…). We have sticker rewards and he understands what they're for. He tries to go. He has some luck with poo.
The problem with urine seems to be this: he has really good strong bladder control and he doesn't know how to release it consciously. We actually see him trying to do it, physically. He's just moving the wrong muscles. So at least so far the strategy of popping him on the loo all the time and hoping to catch an involuntary release is not working: he just goes really seldom. There doesn't seem to be enough lucky catches to be able to do the "HOORAY YOU DID IT IN THE TOILET" reinforcement. So we're a bit stuck there at the moment. He sits on the toilet every half an hour. About twice a day he wees on the floor and we clean it up. He also is probably saving up wee for the nappies we put him in to leave the house. ??? PROFIT?
It's not ideal to do this in the holidays because he's out of routine and, eg, my mother-in-law insisted he wear nappies at her house until very good with the toilet, so we can't be consistent while traveling. On the other hand, not the holidays means I spend hot days locked in the house with him while my husband works in air-conditioned offices, which I am not that thrilled about. So holidays it is.
Any ideas about overcoming his lack of insight into the muscles? Or will the accidents do it shortly? How long, typically, before people decide "this isn't working" and go back to nappies?
Someone will probably ask about how the uncertainty of all the adult hospitalisations has affected him. We're not sure, to be honest: there's nothing obvious. Probably the biggest thing is that we're just thoroughly worn out and he's therefore used to having parents who don't have much patience.
Oh, final note: I'm in Australia, so it's the middle of summer. This is probably relevant to clothing-related thoughts.
Update: judging from comments so far, we probably need to keep doing what we're doing for a fortnight or so before deciding we need a new strategy? Seems fair enough. He's back in childcare Jan 9, it is shut down for a summer break for three weeks. Perhaps we'll be sorted by then.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-01 09:01 pm (UTC)There are some things you can do to encourage relaxing; blowing your lips out (like a horse!) helps some people.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-02 06:37 am (UTC)We've got the opposite issue: R will pee in the potty, but was holding poop for the pull-ups (which were only for nap/bedtime). Then he started school, got sick, had a bunch of accidents (pee and poop) at school, and finaly stopped initiating peeing even at home. So we're in pull-ups full time, which I loathe :P
No real advice beyond the above, just my sympathy since our kiddos are close in age. We're still not totally healthy, but well enough that it seems like a good time to start again.